WILLY OR WONT HE

White House staff think that The Donald is changing sex and they are secretly running a competition to decide what his name will be if he has the final cut and tuck. Top of the list so far is Dorothy.

Their concern was heightened recently when he hit an even higher than usual falsetto voice when claiming that the Chinese respect him for the large size of his brain.

One thing he is generally not credited with is the large size of his penis and thereby hangs part of the tail, so to speak.

A former porn star who complains that sex with him was somewhat lacking in penetration, has told the Nation that his willy resembles a small mushroom poorly supported by a very, very thin stalk. Again, so to speak.

The point is that such inconspicuous appendages are one of the signs of an apparent male whose not quite sure of which way he swings if, that is, he can swing at all. But there is more.

There has been a lot of discussion over the way he constantly forms  a circle or “O” with his lips, a titillating facial expression sometimes adopted by the female of the species to indicate that there’s more than one way of having sex.

“Wild Bill” Clinton himself  has been known to comment that he finds The Donald disturbingly sexy when he does this, inspiring as it does memories of encounters under the desk in the Oval Office.

Also, the way he drops one shoulder and coquettishly slants his head and smiles is worryingly similar to a pose often adopted when a woman is flirting. And, of course, there’s his bouffant hair style that he regularly tosses back with a flick of his head

Could Dorothy Trump be America’s first woman president? Watch this space.

LESS THAN 48-HOURS AFTER THIS ITEM WAS PUBLISHED ON THIS BLOG, DONALD TRUMP PUBLICLY DECLARED HIS LOVE FOR KIM JONG -un THE LEADER OF NORTH KOREA. PUTS A WHOLE NEW MEANING ON TRUMP CALLING KIM “LITTLE ROCKET MAN”.