MAMIL
For those not yet in the know, it stands for a MIDDLE AGED MAN IN LYCRA. Yup, Google it.
It is the name for those apparent refugees from a UFO landing who ride around in outlandish gear on bikes, intent on either committing suicide overtaking vehicles on the inside, or mowing down innocent civilians on country walks by sneaking up silently behind them.
For car drivers and pedestrians and other normal people alike, there is good news. The freaks could be a dying species. Put in simple terms, their offensively skin tight shorts are so tight that they are strangling their crown jewels and adversely affecting their sperm count.
The warning comes from Isabel Traynor, a Lead Nurse for assisted conception at NHS Glasgow and Clyde and a sporting lass who has made a study of the male dangly bits far in excess of any Convent girl.
Could their constricted goolies be the reason that these hooligans seem never to shout a warning when advancing at high speed behind unsuspecting walkers? Could it be that they do give a “view haloo” but the alert only comes out as a squeek?
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As a cyclist I like having all the health benefits of my cardio workout on my road bicycle . That’s why I look so good in my Lycra. I’ve managed to loose two stone in the past seven years with this fun and exciting sporting activity and now only weigh 19 stone. I didn’t realise it affected my sperm count. Maybe I should remove my handlebar ashtray and beer holder when I fit my new memory foam saddle.